You Rock! (I Love You!)

I loved Valentine’s Day as a kid. 💕

Did I have a Valentine? No.

Did I have any hope for a Valentine? Again, no.

The closest I got to any of the above was in fourth grade when a boy Scotch-taped a house of index cards and asked me to be his Valentine. (I watched him ask five girls before me.) The second closest was when one of the most popular boys chatted with me on AIM all summer long, only to strut right by my desk like he didn’t know me on the first day of sixth grade. I’ll never forget staring down at my Earth Science book, with its brand-new purple, green and blue cloth cover, my heart sinking to my stomach. Had those instant messages of “what’s up?” and “nm u” meant nothing to him?

A shy, quiet kid throughout elementary school, I went mostly unnoticed by the boys. But that didn’t stop me from having crushes, lots of them. And even though it was all in my head and unrequited, I absolutely loved Valentine’s Day. The thrill! The anticipation! The hope that someone might like-like me back!

I remember picking out the mushiest card in my pack for my crush, a subtle hint at my affections, then sifting through each card after the exchange trying to see who might be secretly in love with me and wondering if the “You rock!” card from the boy I liked was really code for “I love you!”

Since then, I’ve experienced all sorts of Valentine’s Days, really wonderful ones, too. But for me, absolutely nothing will compare to the sweet joy and excitement of those shoebox Valentines and conversation hearts.

Anyway. Happy Valentine’s Day. You rock! (That means I love you.)